Are you ready to spend some (maybe a lot of) cash on a party?
Let’s not dance around it: Weddings and everything that come with them can be very expensive. And for some people, those costs are justified: dropping tens of thousands of dollars on a party that celebrates their love along with everyone they love most in the world is totally worth the price of admission to them. For others, spending big money on a wedding may not be a priority over traveling, a down payment for a house, or beyond. The bottom line is, you should not pay for an all-out wedding if you and your partner don’t 100 percent believe you’ll get a return on your investment. Because if you do, you could be stuck with some serious buyer’s remorse—not exactly what you want to feel post-wedding! There are so many ways you can still celebrate your partnership and your loved ones without dropping tons of cash—consider a limited guest list, elopement, or casual backyard affair where you pick and choose what you want to spend on (flowers, catering) and what you want to save on (rentals, DIYing a playlist).
Are you someone who loves planning and organizing?
Not all couples who married at traditional weddings love wedding planning, or hired wedding planners if they didn’t. But the process can be so demanding of a certain level of organization and logistical know-how that someone who really hates things like emails, timelines, deadlines and being in charge of lots of other people might really hate planning a big wedding. I know I am someone who hates all those things and without my now-husband’s aunt gifting us a wedding coordinator, I probably wouldn’t have even had the scale of wedding I did. These tasks can be quite triggering for many people and the end result may simply not be worth it if you never really envisioned yourself having a classic wedding anyway. If that sounds like you and your initial answer to this question is “Ahh, no!” Don’t fret—it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have a wedding. It just means you should either opt for a less formal affair or something smaller (say, at a restaurant where there won’t be tons of moving parts), consider splurging for a planner or coordinator, or go for a longer engagement and give yourself tons of time to plan so stress levels stay minimal.
Notice a trend here? Either you’re a big, classic wedding type, or you’re not, or you’re somewhere in between, but regardless, there’s always a way to edit the “typical wedding” to make it fit your needs and personality. So you and your partner shouldn’t throw a typical wedding if it’s not something you really want, just because you feel like it’s what people do, but on the other hand, you shouldn’t feel like there’s no possible way to celebrate your commitment to one another with your loved ones just because certain things about traditional weddings turn you off. Think long and hard (together!) about who you both are and what you both want, then go from there—to heck with tradition! (Unless you love tradition.)